Exchanged on the house. Also missing my kids

We’ve finally exchanged on the house (yesterday) and I’m so happy and relieved. We have a completion date of the 31st July which is a week Monday. I’m trying to get busy packing. I’ve had a few offers of help from very lovely friends which is a god-send because I can’t see me accomplishing this move on my own. My parents are around to help me move the big stuff on the day and I have another friend who can help me before and after.

In other news, the kids are with their dad and step-mother in Turkey and I am struggling a little with this. This is the place we bought years ago – I can’t remember how long but maybe 12 years, maybe longer. We went there every year. We got to know the locals and families that lived on the estate where our house was. The kids grew up spending summer holidays there. This is the first time that Ben has gone with his new wife and our kids. I keep thinking about whether they will just accept her as the new me (I know that’s not fair as she isn’t me, but she has taken my place as his wife and their stand-in mother. That’s a tough pill to swallow. I know I should be over this by now. But things are still happening – firsts, which send me reeling again after being fine about things for a long time. Also it would have been our 18th wedding anniversary on Monday. Don’t feel too great about that either.

I also found out last night that there was an earthquake in Turkey. Thankfully the kids are nowhere near where it happened as Turkey is a big country. But it made me feel very shaky, helpless and I wished I could be there to give them a cuddle. I hate knowing that if something were to happen I couldn’t get to them, couldn’t hold them and make sure they are alright.

I’m missing them.

So now it is a count-down to move-day. I have a lot to think about, a lot to do.

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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