Will I let anyone love me

I’ve been thinking a lot today. Too much probably.

I have a date on Thursday and (from chatting online and talking on the phone once last night) I really like this guy and I want it to go well. However, I keep messing up and saying things which I think could make him see me as a little bit crazy.

I want so much for someone to love me as I am. To see me, warts and all, and say “yes, that girl’s for me”. But I think because I want that so badly and because I see myself so badly, I self-sabotage. I’ve cancelled out on dates in the past because I just couldn’t see how I could possibly find the right person. And I’ve asked this guy several times if he still wants to meet me on Thursday. Talk about making myself sound loopy!

Right now, today, I’m feeling just a little bit broken and worried that this guy won’t like what he sees or he’ll get to know me and decided, just like my ex did, that actually, I don’t want her anymore. She seemed ok from the outside but once I got to know her, she is a little bit too crazy, too insecure, too needy, too…..

I worry all the time that I’ve said the wrong thing, I’ve somehow buggered it up before it’s even started.

Being on my own is fine. It’s okay. I think the hardest part is letting someone in!

2 Thoughts on “Will I let anyone love me

  1. I think you just need to go and enjoy the evening with no thoughts beyond having a good night. If you see him again, it’s a bonus. Take each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead.
    Do you think you are trying to fill a hole and do you truly think you are ready?
    I too struggle with anxiety, an insecure and have been very needy in past relationships. I have felt very lonely and have wanted to be with someone over the last 4 years but I’ve not been on a single date as I knew I wasn’t ready. I have healed so much and spent 2 years in weekly therapy to deal with all my issues from the past and after the split etc. Now, I’m interested in dating but I’m not desperate and and at this point, would be happy to have a nice date, no more than that.
    Big hugs and try to go easy on yourself and just relax and enjoy the small things x

  2. Roy Denney on September 27, 2016 at 19:08 said:

    Just be yourself and he should take you as you are and remember nobody’s perfect you are attractive and intelligent be proud of who you are….


Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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