Going to Spain soon

I’m off to Spain on Friday and I can’t wait. I’m going to be leaving work at 12.45, picking the kids up at 1pm, then heading round to Ben’s to get the kids changed ready for my parents to pick us up at 2pm. 

I’m so excited. I’m looking forward to spending time with my family,, who have been so supportive in the last year, to seeing the village of Mijas where my parents house is – I haven’t been there in maybe 16 years or more. I’m looking forward to seeing my Gibraltarian cousins. And just generally having a holiday. Without Ben. 

I haven’t had a holiday without him since I was with him (so 20 years) and I’m curious to see how I feel about it. I feel very positive at the moment. Not because Ben and I are in a bad place right now – we’re not, we’re fine. But because it’s time I found my own way of being without him. This is one of many firsts. 

I’ve done our first anniversary, first Doctor Who watched without him (may seem a silly little thing but it actually felt like quite a big thing as we’d watched Doctor Who together since it came back), first birthday, first kids birthday. Last year was the first Christmas but I was still living in the house with them and also this year I’m going to be there, spending Christmas Day with Ben, her and the kids (it was an agreement we made – at least until the kids are old enough to decide if they want to spend Christmas with one or the other of us….). 

Next year I’ll be spending a week with Ben and the kids and then a week on my own with them in Turkey. I’m going to see how it goes, how I feel about it. And see where I go from there. It might not work. I might decide that in 2017 I want to take them away on holiday on my own. Maybe Spain again or somewhere completely different. I might have a boy friend by then. Who knows! 

Anyway enough of my ramblings. Suffice to say I can’t bloody wait for this friday!!! 

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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