My kids don’t respect me

I’m at the end of my tether.

Every night the kids are out of bed multiple times. Different excuses every time.

Tonight I got the kids home and they were SO rude and objectionable and loud that I ended up in tears.

Something needs to change. I don’t know what I’m doing. I need some order.

I tried a new rule last night whereby the kids lost their hot milk (which they normally have at bedtime) and having TV before bed. They only get the hot milk back the following night if they are good at staying in their room. They only get TV and milk back if they stay in bed 2 nights in a row.

But its almost as if they don’t care. They still constantly come out of their rooms. Constantly demanding one thing after another.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve got them an extra night this week as Ben is picking up his GF from the airport on Friday night. He’s going to pick them up to take them camping on Saturday morning. I’m not going out now this weekend so I’ve decided I’m going to spend the weekend getting the flat straight and then getting some order to the kids room. Maybe buy a storage unit for their bedroom and get rid of the table in there as they never use it.

Then think about what I’m going to do next week. I can’t go on like this. I thought I was getting better at managing them. I had a good routine down but their behaviour seems to have just spiralled out of control this week and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore!

Any helpful comments or ideas would be hugely appreciated!!!

8 Thoughts on “My kids don’t respect me

  1. Emma on August 19, 2015 at 19:56 said:

    They may be worse as it’s the holidays and aren’t as tired. You may find it is easier after they are back at school as they will be more tired after having a more structured day.

  2. Sarah on August 19, 2015 at 20:16 said:

    We have had fun and games tonight too, I think because they haven’t burnt off enough energy today and daddy started rough and tumble too close to bedtime so they were hyped up. Mine have the chance to get everything they need before they get into bed then it’s tough. Normally the most effective thing to lose is iPad and TV time, g lost it for one day and J for two. J has also lost treats tomorrow too……hang on in there. X

  3. Hannah on August 19, 2015 at 20:17 said:

    So sorry to hear about your bedtime struggles my darling! It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things. All I would say is be patient and consistent. Don’t cave in! Keep to your word when you take a toy away for bad behaviour, and don’t reward naughtiness with cuddles. Just be firm and send them back to bed.
    You may have to do it all evening for several evenings, but I’m sure it will pay off.
    I have no idea of how hard it must be for you, so don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure there are many other parents out there dealing with similar behaviour.
    But don’t forget you are a fantastic mum, and your children love you, they are just pushing the boundaries like I’m sure we did when we were little

    • Thanks Hannah. Yes, I’m sure we did. I think its just that this week has been so busy at work and I get home and they are awful for me. I’ve found this week to be a real struggle. I have a friend who is also thinking of possible plans of attack and might sit down with her at some point and think about a strategy to deal with their bad bedtime behaviour but also bad behaviour and attitude generally. I know they are just children and doing what children do but I need to work out how to deal with it as I don’t feel that anything I’ve done recently has helped. Thanks for your lovely comment. xxxx Love you.

  4. Oh hon. They do respect you, it’s just the holidays, Dad’s girlfriend is away so home is different, new childminder etc. Maybe a sticker chart and they get money or whatever floats their boat per sticker? Say 10p per star and they get a star if they stay in bed etc? You know what the key is….be consistent. Try not to take say anything they need for sleep like warm milk or toys but maybe stop TV before bath as its a stimulant and just do books? Have a discussion about what they need. Get them to write a list of what they need in bed – water, toy, books etc and make a deal that if its not on their list, they don’t get it so they can’t ask for more. They have to check their list before they go to bed? Maybe milk and some toast or wee taboo etc so they can’t complain of hunger?
    Hugs. You’ll get there. It’s hard and I’m so sorry you ending up crying. I could have screamed at one point today! X

    • Thanks Hannah. I know. I’ve been tested to the point of wanting to scream cry or just generally escape nearly every night this week. Its been exhausting. I’m going to think of a way that I can improve their behaviour, get them to stay in bed. To be fair the worst culprit at staying in bed is Alara. She is out nearly every 5/10 minutes sometimes. Last night I ended up telling her that I wasn’t going to talk to her and gave her the silent treatment which seemed to work as it got her very upset (a sign that she’s upset she won’t get my attention anymore when she comes out). Its all just so taxing and tiring. Thankfully I have this weekend to have a think about what I’m going to do and come up with a plan. xxxx

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