20 Things I won’t miss about you!

Just had a very nice after work drinks with some colleagues and, apart from a tummy ache and a grazed knee from when I fell over in the carpark after buying a parking ticket, I left feeling pretty good.

As soon as I got home I started feeling sorry for myself.

So in order to combat that sadness, I’m going to share with you my “What I won’t miss about you” list to my husband:

1. My (good) nail scissors going missing from my dressing table where he cuts his toenails in his office and then leaves them under a pile of paper somewhere on his desk. Ditto my (good) tweezers
2. Finding his used earbuds all over the bathroom – they never quite made it to the bin!
3. His weekly (or whatever) demands for sex. If not demands then just a general huffiness at bedtime
4. Dog duties – he is most definitely keeping the dogs: feeding, watering, letting out, cleaning up muddy footprints, occasional poos or wees on the floor (small dog)
5. His TV – QI, deadliest catch, Futurama…..
6. His music – can’t think of the names right now but I don’t like a lot of it!
7. The mess he makes when he cooks
8. His shoes in my wardrobe – he has an extra-ordinary amount of shoes for a man!
9. Him drunk. Although if we socialise I may still get to see that but at least it won’t be a weekly/monthly/whatever occurrence
10. Him letching at women on TV. Just blatant and there is no need for it!
11. The snake. Won’t miss that. Won’t miss having chicks or mice defrosting on the windowsill as the snake needs feeding
12. Him emptying his pockets onto my dressing table (especially annoying when I’ve just tidied it)
13. Him picking his nose and eating it in plain sight
14. Finding the bath full of his pubes!
15. Trying to get a word in edgeways as he never stops talking
16. His inability to be able to cope with or understand my mental health problems
17. The constant conversations about money
18. Being a widow to his brewing hobby
19. His obsession with his weight
20. His inability to sit still and relax

There you go. 20 things I won’t miss about him. Feeling sad? Don’t be silly. Just think about the lack of dirty cotton buds or pubic hair! And anyway, I am worth more than feeling sorry for myself all because I miss having someone to cuddle in bed. I’m moving onto bigger and better things in 2015. I don’t need him. Or another man (although should a nice one come along at some stage in the future I won’t have a problem with that). I am a good, strong person, and I’m going to come out of this the other side – stronger, happier, and probably thinner!!!