Missing out

My daughter broke her arm on Saturday night. Its a small fracture in her elbow. They were both staying over at my parents house for the night and she climbed out of her cot at around 8.30pm I think and fell on it and after a while it became clear to my parents that something was wrong and my dad took her to A&E. She was apparently a little star. 

She has her arm in a sling. They didn’t put it in plaster. I have to take her to the fracture clinic at the hospital on Wednesday morning. 

I really struggled with being at work today. I know, when I’m at work, that she’s being looked after by Bella who will love her and take care of her and give her medicine and cuddles but today I really wanted it to be me doing all those things.

Today being a full-time working mum (9-5.30 in an office) felt really hard and the guilt was almost unbearable. I feel like I’m missing out on so much.

Then when I got home Joshua asked me if I was coming to his sports day. Which I’m not because I am already going to be working from home on Wednesday so that I can take Lala to her hospital appointment and also her first session at school. Bella is going to go but I feel so bad that I’m not going myself.

I need to hang on to the thought that a year or two of experience will mean that I can pick and choose (more so than now anyway) jobs that may be more flexible – based at home, part time…. Something that I will be able to work around the kids more and so that I get to spend more time with them other than weekends and after 6pm.

Hold on to that though, Abi!

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My brave little trooper

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Sunday afternoon – having a nap in our bed

4 Thoughts on “Missing out

  1. That would be tough 🙁 Hope she’s ok, her haircut looks adorable x

  2. I can so sympathise with this, I have times where I feel so removed from my children because of working full time. My aim in life is to drop a day, and work from home where possible…but like you I know I need to build up to that point.

    I hope her arm feels better soon!

    • Thanks. I guess all we can do is keep on trying. I feel bad working but I’m doing it so that eventually I’ll be in the kind of role where I can be much more flexible. Thanks for reading.

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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