‘Twas the night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the flat (yes, I know I’m in a house but house doesn’t rhyme with “cat”)

Every creature was stirring, including the cat

None would get settled – “I DON’T WANT A BATH”

Mum gave up and poured some gin in the glass

The children were nestled in front of their screens

If you prise them away, it ends up in screams

Mum took a few moments to sup on her drink

To just take some time out to rest and to think.

When up from the depth’s of the second child’s room

Came a clatter and clang, a bang and a boom.

What could this be, this terrible din?

That is calling me away from my loverly gin.

Could Santa be early, could such a thing be?

Could he have the wrong time zone, a man such as he?

It turns out the ruckus was not dear Saint Nic.

But child 1 failing a level & having a strip (strop doesn’t rhyme with St Nic)

“Dear God, give me strength” sighs a weary mum

As she looks at her checklist, still to be done.

She sprang to her feet, to her kids gave a shout,

“Oi! It’s bath time you rascals, don’t mess me about”

You could hear her a’mutter as she went out of sight.

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night”

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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