Dating do’s and don’ts

So, I’d finally got my head in the right place and decided I wasn’t interested in trying to find someone. I had decided I didn’t have time or energy to do online dating and I was just going to focus on me – my future, my career as a writer, getting myself into the right place – putting me first.

Then I went out on Saturday night and “boom” I met someone. He was tall, good looking, fit, intelligent, kind. We talked about all sorts of things. We danced, drank tequila shots and even kissed! His arms around me felt great! He was out with some mates, but spent most of the evening talking to me and when his mates went home, he stayed with me until I was ready to leave (the alcohol started to get the better of me). He made sure I found my friends and stayed until he knew I was safe.

We exchanged numbers and I texted him when I got back to my friend’s house (where I was staying over night) to say it was lovely to meet him and he texted back. Then we messaged each other on and off all yesterday.

Now I’m at that point where I’m thinking:

  • Should I text him or let him text me
  • Should I say “do you want to see me again” or wait for him to ask me out
  • Should I be completely open with him, like I have a tendency to be, and if he doesn’t like the real me then it’s not meant to be or should I play it cool and let him slowly get to know me and see where it goes from there

I’m worried that if I let him know all my little faults and insecurities he will run a mile, but at the same time I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.

I’m terrible at all this stuff. The last time I dated I was 17 or 18 and it didn’t seem as complicated as it does now.



19 Thoughts on “Dating do’s and don’ts

  1. I was late 30s when I met the man of my life, having decided to walk away from my first marriage to a horrendous bully. My suggestions would be, firstly don’t push too hard, just let the relationship develop organically, get to know each other slowly, just enjoy each other’s company without ties or commitment. Be friendly at all times and try not to be in too much hurry. If it’s meant to be it will happen, if it’s not meant to be then just have an enjoyable encounter with someone whose company you find pleasurable then move on. In the first instance I would give him a few days and if you haven’t heard then maybe text and just ask how he is, nothing more – if he wants to take it further then he will do. But don’t frighten him off by appearing too keen. Having said that I could be completely wrong, I’m going to follow this with interest and see where it takes you, good luck x x x

    • Thank you. I do need to take it slow. I have a tendency to be in a hurry for a lot of things. Got to learn to slow down (Mum in a Hurry needs to be in less of a hurry). Hopefully this change in direction for me (no longer working full time) will help me slow down in other areas of life and maybe make me a bit more relaxed when it comes to dating!!!

  2. Such an exciting time for you! All I can say is be yourself, do what feels natural…. good luck! x

  3. Did you text him? So glad to see that you’re meeting new people. I’ve not really been looking yet since splitting up with my ex and tbh i don’t think i could let anyone into my life just yet. I’m quite happy being single and having my own space haha! Good luck and keep us updated! 🙂 xx

    • I know what you mean Kerry. The ironic thing is I had decided I wasn’t ready and was just going to focus on me and my life. And then I went out and actually met someone – first time that has happened to me – to meet someone I actually liked! Met plenty that I wasn’t bothered about! Fingers crossed!!!

  4. I think the best thing you can do is just to be yourself, if he doesn’t accept you at face value then he isn’t worth your time (but the fact you guys were messaging all day yesterday is a really good sign 😉 ). xx

    • Thanks. He’s been messaging today too so hopefully that’s a good sign. I do want to be myself (I can’t really be anything else – I’m not good at putting on a front). But at the same time I don’t want to bombard him with all my little faults and foibles too early on. Hopefully as he gets to know me, he’ll like what he sees.

  5. I think it’s great that you’re getting out there again and seeing where it takes you! I haven’t got a clue about dating, but I wish you all the luck in the world and hope everything works out for you! xxx

    • Thank you Emma. I am very excited about it. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to happen. I kept being told that it happens when you least expect it and when you stop looking! I used to get so annoyed when people would tell me that – but I guess they are right as that is exactly what happened!

  6. I haven’t a clue about dating to be honest I’ve been with my husband for 8 years. I wish u loads of luck that it works out for u.

    • Thank you. I was with mine for 20 years (married for 16.5) so I haven’t got the first clue about it as the last time I “dated” I was about 17/18 years old! Thank you for your good wishes xxxxx

  7. Cass@FrugalFamily on December 14, 2016 at 11:11 said:

    Aw that’s lovely.

    I think you just need to do what feels right and if he’s the right one then it won’t matter x x

  8. I am the same as you. I never know what to text back or leave it until he replies. The last time I dated was almost 8 years ago when I met my hubby to be now.

  9. Oh it’s so lovely you’ve met someone, they say when you stop looking, it’ll happen! :). It’s hard to decide what to do, if you like him that go ahead and message him, what’s the worst that can happen? Although on the contrary, maybe let him do the chasing? 🙂 x

  10. Oh how exciting! How are things going?!

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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