So, I’d finally got my head in the right place and decided I wasn’t interested in trying to find someone. I had decided I didn’t have time or energy to do online dating and I was just going to focus on me – my future, my career as a writer, getting myself into the right place – putting me first.
Then I went out on Saturday night and “boom” I met someone. He was tall, good looking, fit, intelligent, kind. We talked about all sorts of things. We danced, drank tequila shots and even kissed! His arms around me felt great! He was out with some mates, but spent most of the evening talking to me and when his mates went home, he stayed with me until I was ready to leave (the alcohol started to get the better of me). He made sure I found my friends and stayed until he knew I was safe.
We exchanged numbers and I texted him when I got back to my friend’s house (where I was staying over night) to say it was lovely to meet him and he texted back. Then we messaged each other on and off all yesterday.
Now I’m at that point where I’m thinking:
- Should I text him or let him text me
- Should I say “do you want to see me again” or wait for him to ask me out
- Should I be completely open with him, like I have a tendency to be, and if he doesn’t like the real me then it’s not meant to be or should I play it cool and let him slowly get to know me and see where it goes from there
I’m worried that if I let him know all my little faults and insecurities he will run a mile, but at the same time I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.
I’m terrible at all this stuff. The last time I dated I was 17 or 18 and it didn’t seem as complicated as it does now.