I seem to have turned a bit of a corner. When you are deep in depression or sadness or grief, it doesn’t feel like it will ever end. Life will be like this forever, but it really won’t.
On Thursday it seemed like the sadness lifted. I’ve been focussed on practicing guitar all week because I am singing and playing guitar tomorrow night at an open mic night. I saw a sign outside a pub as I was driving past and I just decided then and there that I would do it. And it’s helped me to have something else to focus on.
Something has changed and I feel lighter. Not so weighed down by everything. I made a conscious decision not to bother with worrying about or feeling bad about my ex husband and his life and his choices. It is time to focus on me, my future, doing the things that I enjoy doing.
It is my birthday tomorrow. I will be 39. I’ve had a lovely day out with my parents. We came to Lyndhurst, had a pub lunch, wandered around the shops and then took the dog for a little walk. We’re now heading home to have a tea and scones (and, I’m hoping, birthday cake and presents).