How I feel

  • Everything is an effort
  • Nothing is worth anything
  • My arms and legs feel so tired
  • Getting out of bed is HARD
  • Life is monotonous
  • Nothing good will happen
  • I will be alone forever
  • I’m stuck in this flat with no garden, no space, kids squashed together in the same room
  • There is never enough money
  • I’m so bloody tired
  • I want to cry all the time
  • It takes all my energy to “be mum” but beyond that I have no energy. Just folding washing takes it out of me
  • “Divorced” feels like a life sentence and feels like failure
  • It all feels like too much
  • Even talking to friends about how I feel feels like too much of an effort. 
  • I want to hide away and hibernate

6 Thoughts on “How I feel

  1. Aw, your sense of self-worth has (very understandably) taken a big hit. But you’ve actually done (And are doing) amazingly well in so many ways. You WILL win through. That is not in doubt! ???? xxx

  2. Charlie on May 4, 2016 at 16:28 said:

    I’m so sorry to read this . You are not alone . I cried today over my divorce and then realised its been 11 years or more, I’ve remarried and had another two children.
    You are grieving . It’s doesn’t go away …. Well it does a bit! The periods between lows like this become further and further spaced apart but you have lost something big.
    I wish I was a man, they do not suffer in the same way. I don’t even think they ever look back.

  3. Sarah on May 4, 2016 at 22:19 said:

    Sending you hugs from down under Abi! It’s understandable that you feel grief and loss for how you thought life would be. During a bad time of grief in my life, another mum going through something similar told me ‘grief will be a frequent visitor – let him sleep on the couch but don’t invite him to unpack and stay. I guess I took that to mean just get through the days as best you can, don`t beat yourself up for being sad and try not to let grief get away from you. Also, it sounds trivial, but I ordered every season of Big Love and rewarded myself with an episode each night for getting through the day – it really helped 🙂

    • Thanks Sarah. I have tonnes of TV that I reward myself with but I also beat myself up for watching too much and not spending the time getting things done. I’m my own worst enemy. At least tonight I did two good things. I played a little guitar and I had a lovely hot bath with my Lush stuff. Oh and I still managed to watch an episode of Criminal Minds.

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