Frazzled mum! Looking forward to time away but equally feeling guilty!

This week I have felt utterly exhausted. It doesn’t help that I had a few glasses of wine last night which culminated in me feeling a little more tired than usual this morning. But before that I had been going to bed early every single night, since the kids came to me last Friday, but it didn’t seem to make a dent on how tired I’d been feeling.

Tonight they go to their Dad’s for a fortnight. I am conflicted in how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am shattered and looking forward to a bit of a break from the constantness of dinners, baths, bedtimes, mornings, picking up, dropping off, going to work (OK, I won’t get a break from that part but at least I will have a bit more time to myself in the mornings). The reason for them staying with their dad for 2 weeks is that next weekend I am going to a party in Wales for my sister and her husband’s anniversary. I’m really looking forward to it, but it meant I couldn’t have the kids on the weekend that I would normally have them. So he is having them for two weeks and after that, I will have them for 2 weeks.

I’m dreading how much I will miss them and feel the big gaping emptiness in my life while they are here, but equally I’m a little apprehensive about the two week stint after my “break”. I’m used to one week and then getting a little break. I don’t know how you single mums out there do it – those of you where the dad only has the kids every other weekend or maybe is not even in the picture so you get no time off at all. Maybe you don’t want time off. Maybe I’m just an utterly selfish mum that I look forward to (and equally dread – so maybe not quite such a terrible mum) the time when they spend with their dad.

So this weekend I have plans for tonight (Friday night). I am going out on the town with my friend Emma and then I intend to lie in Saturday. Then I have nothing much planned other than maybe doing a little shopping and doing some work on a website I’m working on for somebody. Sunday morning I might be popping along to my local church (I’m not in the slightest religious but thought it might be a good source of local support). And then in the evening on Sunday I’ll be visiting a friend to help him with his blog. So all in all, not too busy, but not too quiet either.

What are you doing this weekend?

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