I’m missing the children really badly right now.
They are with their dad and his GF camping. I’m sure they are having a fab time and not missing me at all.
I came home and had a couple of hours to spare before I go for weigh in shame at weight watchers and I have to say I’m feeling pretty down.
The flat is tidy – after all my efforts at the weekend and all I have to do is to fold up some clean washing but I can’t bring myself to do it.
I wish I could speak to them. See some photos of what they’ve been up to. See their faces. I know they drive me crazy sometimes but its hard knowing that I can’t see them. It feels like there is a gaping hole inside me.
Overall, I’m happy about how things have turned out. Apart from feeling alone and wishing I had someone to share things with, but times like these, when I’m missing them so much, it makes me really sad about how things have turned out. Makes me miss being a “proper family” like I always thought we would be. Dammit, I even miss Ben and his dickiness sometimes. His calling me the Wifely unit, which was our little jokey name for each other – he would be the Husbandy Unit. I miss being in that unit sometimes.
Now it’s just me. On my own. And it’s hard sometimes.