Our new family setup – the whole truth

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time now but wasn’t quite sure how to approach it.

I feel like I have left out a large part of how our life is now and that was out of respect for one of the people involved’s personal privacy given that they hadn’t told their family about their (our) situation.

But now that has happened and I feel I can be a bit more open about things.

Before I go on I want to be absolutely clear about something. By writing this, I am absolutely NOT asking for people to write negative things about anyone involved. I don’t want that and any comments like that will not be approved. I do appreciate your support of course so comment away in that respect.

Ok, the situation is this. If you’ve read my blog for a while now you may know that we had an au pair. She was a fantastic au pair and I loved her and still do. She is brilliant with the kids and despite everything that has happened I still have a great deal of affection for her. My ex also got on very well with her from the moment she came onboard. They even went to concerts together that I wasn’t that interested in going to.

So when I wrote about My Marriage being over, I neglected to include the fact that my ex had told me one of the reasons he wanted to end it was that he had feelings for her. He had expressed these feelings to her a couple of days before and had discovered that she felt the same. In fact, they were officially together from the night that I left to stay at my parents. This has been very hard for me, and the fact that he had someone else, even someone that I knew well and trusted, amplified my feelings of being abandoned and feeling betrayed.

However,  over time I have grown to accept the situation. I even at times think this situation is preferable to the idea of him getting together with some stranger and me worrying about how the kids will take to the new lady. And now I have my own place it is easier to feel like I am getting on with my life. I even slept with someone!!!! What an amazing thing that was! I felt like I was suddenly human again. Could feel again! I was on a high for days afterwards. Who knew sex could have that effect on a girl!

So that’s it. That’s now our family! Same people but different dynamics!

I have read and reread this post and hope it’s okay.

22 Thoughts on “Our new family setup – the whole truth

  1. Oh goodness – what a pragmatic take on your situation. Very admirable. I am glad you are enjoying your new freedom to such an extent! I hope it turns out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you X

  2. Holy crap. You are pretty darn amazing. I don’t know how I would have been able to cope with that. I’m so sorry. I think you’re dealing with it incredibley well.

  3. Daisy on May 8, 2015 at 08:27 said:

    I have so much respect for you. I really hope your ex husband and your ex au pair realise how incredibly well you are handling this and give you the respect you deserve for that!

    Well done for getting back on the horse so to speak 😉

  4. Oh goodness. 😮
    What a shock that must have been for you! 🙁
    I admire how strong you are about it, and that you can talk about it like this, I hope all goes well for the future, you seem to have your mind in the right place and a firm leg set down. 😀

    • Yes, it was a shock, I must be honest. It was quite a big step talking about it but I felt like I needed to. I am moving on and its not always easy and I do sometimes feel alone and then from that feeling comes some bitterness towards them both but overall its not how I feel. Just how I end up feeling when I’m in a low spot. I know I need to concentrate on the kids and on my future and I hope I’ll end up so much happier.

  5. How completely amazing of you! I have no idea how I would react if that was my situation.. one things for sure, I wouldn’t have handled it with half as much grace. Good luck on your new journey. Robyn x

    • Thanks Robyn. I will be honest when I first found out I didn’t act with grace. I handled it the way anyone would. Doing a lot of crying and feeling horribly abandoned. But yeah I’m getting there now and there is no point holding onto negative feelings.

  6. Bloody hell they are lucky! I truly hope you are as ok as you say xxxxxx

  7. What a weird one Abi. I thought the au pair had a boyfriend. I know how highly you thought of her – certainly muddies the waters a bit. Go you for adapting and getting out there though – life will settle down eventually. I’m here if you ever want to chat. Hugs X

  8. Lauran Hampshire-Dell on May 10, 2015 at 21:13 said:

    I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while but Abi, you are SO SO brave!! I hope I can face any situations as I get older as bravely as you have this. Amazing mum and totally an inspiration. xxx

  9. You are doing so well and you are being honest and brave. Keep doing what you are doing and you’ll get there. Take care xx

  10. Think you’re amazing Abby X

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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