I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time now but wasn’t quite sure how to approach it.
I feel like I have left out a large part of how our life is now and that was out of respect for one of the people involved’s personal privacy given that they hadn’t told their family about their (our) situation.
But now that has happened and I feel I can be a bit more open about things.
Before I go on I want to be absolutely clear about something. By writing this, I am absolutely NOT asking for people to write negative things about anyone involved. I don’t want that and any comments like that will not be approved. I do appreciate your support of course so comment away in that respect.
Ok, the situation is this. If you’ve read my blog for a while now you may know that we had an au pair. She was a fantastic au pair and I loved her and still do. She is brilliant with the kids and despite everything that has happened I still have a great deal of affection for her. My ex also got on very well with her from the moment she came onboard. They even went to concerts together that I wasn’t that interested in going to.
So when I wrote about My Marriage being over, I neglected to include the fact that my ex had told me one of the reasons he wanted to end it was that he had feelings for her. He had expressed these feelings to her a couple of days before and had discovered that she felt the same. In fact, they were officially together from the night that I left to stay at my parents. This has been very hard for me, and the fact that he had someone else, even someone that I knew well and trusted, amplified my feelings of being abandoned and feeling betrayed.
However, over time I have grown to accept the situation. I even at times think this situation is preferable to the idea of him getting together with some stranger and me worrying about how the kids will take to the new lady. And now I have my own place it is easier to feel like I am getting on with my life. I even slept with someone!!!! What an amazing thing that was! I felt like I was suddenly human again. Could feel again! I was on a high for days afterwards. Who knew sex could have that effect on a girl!
So that’s it. That’s now our family! Same people but different dynamics!
I have read and reread this post and hope it’s okay.