Route 66 Trip – Some thoughts (Wednesday 1st April)

I know that a lot of my posts on this trip have mainly been photo posts only and that is because it is pretty time-consuming to upload all of the photos – a lot of times the uploads fail and I have to repost them one by one. So it doesn’t leave me much time for actual writing. Also as much of my blogging is being done on my phone, when we’re in the car, I often have to stop what I’m doing to do some map-reading or checking where we are on the phone (GPS) or changing the music. So when we’re on the road I feel like I’m juggling about 10 different things – you can include in that dealing with shouty or grumpy, bickering children. Don’t get me wrong. The kids have dealt with the long car journeys amazingly well, and, as you can see from the photos, there have been lots of stops along the way (which is why it takes us much longer to get where we are going than if we just drove all the way without stopping – and in fact with so much to see along Route 66 it would be remiss of us not to stop at all these places. So that is why my posts are mainly photos without a huge amount of text to go with them. If I had more time, I would most definitely write more about each of the places we’ve visited, but I feel that if I didn’t just post them when I get a chance, I would not be blogging about this journey at all.

The trip has been amazing on so many levels. It has been good being on the road, seeing all these things, but its also pretty tiring. The kids don’t get to bed until pretty late in the evening and by that point we are usually pretty knackered too so its been pretty full on. Neither of us gets much “time off”. I don’t want to sound like I’m not enjoying myself, because I am. It has been fab. But there is a part of me that just wants a couple of hours to myself.

The other aspect of this trip is that I have been spending every hour of every day with my ex-husband and while that has been mostly fine – we did have a row at one point, and in front of the kids I am ashamed to say, which was pretty much my fault. But being with him every hour of every day has at times been a little confusing. Its not that I want us to get back together. I don’t. I don’t want to “be with him” in that sense. But I have found myself jealous when he rings to speak to his now other half. I think part of that is because I’m alone. I’m here on this holiday and I don’t have anyone back at home missing me. I don’t have any opportunity to meet people (okay, I mean men here) because every minute is spent with the children. OK, I know I probably sound ungrateful. I am not. I do know how lucky I am to be on this holiday. I am loving all of the wonderful things that we’ve been doing. Seeing the kids faces light up when they saw Mater from Cars – a real life sized version of him and other such things. But I know that when I get back I am going to need some time to focus on me and my needs.

For now I will just park those feelings. Its good to get them out on here but this trip is about the kids, the family. I am so glad we are doing it. I am so glad that we are managing to do it with as little as one major argument (so far). I think we both deserve a pat on the back for that.

I’d better go now as I still need to finish tidying up some posts from the last couple of days and then take my meds and go to sleep as we need to be up at 8 tomorrow.

Good night my lovely reader(s).

Abi (written in Albuquerque, New Mexico)

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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