How to get past the bitterness?

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself today. I found myself sinking deeper and deeper and feeling very resentful towards Ben. The feelings of betrayal and hurt surfacing and I ended up expressing them by making cutting responses to text or Facebook messages.

Those kind of feelings are so self-destructive and pointless. I wish I could just turn them off. I wish I could turn them around and bring back the positive feelings that I’ve had about this breakup. Those feelings are still there. I am still looking forward to having my own place, my own space, to decorating it and having friends round.

Just right now, while I’m waiting for searches to come through, there is nothing much happening and its making me feel stagnant, stuck.

I want to move on. Get into a routine – with the kids and everything. Make plans. Sort out all the stuff I’ll need to sort out for the flat – TV, internet, all that stuff.

In the end, I told Ben (via text, as he’s at the gym) how I was feeling and we smoothed it over a bit.

I don’t want this bitterness to overtake me and make itself the only thing that comes out of this 20 year relationship. I need to get a grip of it! Tomorrow I’m going to be positive!

2 Thoughts on “How to get past the bitterness?

  1. I was married for 20 years and split a year and a half ago. I was very bitter – I lost my house, was left with his debts, had to mop up his childrens’ tears for what he had done, had too fight him in court and more – but it is reducing now. It does get easier. The one thing that helps me is doing things for me now and know that I couldn’t do it if I was still married to that twat. Even the simple things like watching crap telly and having a long soak in the tub. Take care, it will get better x

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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