20 Things I won’t miss about you!
Just had a very nice after work drinks with some colleagues and, apart from a tummy ache and a grazed knee from when I fell over in the carpark after buying a parking ticket, I left feeling pretty good.
As soon as I got home I started feeling sorry for myself.
So in order to combat that sadness, I’m going to share with you my “What I won’t miss about you” list to my husband:
- My (good) nail scissors going missing from my dressing table where he cuts his toenails in his office and then leaves them under a pile of paper somewhere on his desk. Ditto my (good) tweezers
- Finding his used earbuds all over the bathroom – they never quite made it to the bin!
- His weekly (or whatever) demands for sex. If not demands then just a general huffiness at bedtime
- Dog duties – he is most definitely keeping the dogs: feeding, watering, letting out, cleaning up muddy footprints, occasional poos or wees on the floor (small dog)
- His TV – QI, deadliest catch, Futurama…..
- His music – can’t think of the names right now but I don’t like a lot of it!
- The mess he makes when he cooks
- His shoes in my wardrobe – he has an extra-ordinary amount of shoes for a man!
- Him drunk. Although if we socialise I may still get to see that but at least it won’t be a weekly/monthly/whatever occurrence
- Him letching at women on TV. Just blatant and there is no need for it!
- The snake. Won’t miss that. Won’t miss having chicks or mice defrosting on the windowsill as the snake needs feeding
- Him emptying his pockets onto my dressing table (especially annoying when I’ve just tidied it)
- Him picking his nose and eating it in plain sight
- Finding the bath full of his pubes!
- Trying to get a word in edgeways as he never stops talking
- His inability to be able to cope with or understand my mental health problems
- The constant conversations about money
- Being a widow to his brewing hobby
- His obsession with his weight
- His inability to sit still and relax
There you go. 20 things I won’t miss about him. Feeling sad? Don’t be silly. Just think about the lack of dirty cotton buds or pubic hair! And anyway, I am worth more than feeling sorry for myself all because I miss having someone to cuddle in bed. I’m moving onto bigger and better things in 2015. I don’t need him. Or another man (although should a nice one come along at some stage in the future I won’t have a problem with that). I am a good, strong person, and I’m going to come out of this the other side – stronger, happier, and probably thinner!!!