Sunday 19th October – Struggling today
Really struggling with things today. Managed to tidy up the kitchen but have really struggled with a load of other things. I was up at 7.30 and have found the kids quite hard work.
I’m now having a bit of quiet time in the bedroom watching Supernatural.
Monday 20th October – Not feeling good
Feel un focussed. In the loo and the loud noise of the hand dryer is really unsettling me. Making me want to panic. Don’t feel tearful or anything but just not feeling good. In my brain.
Wednesday 22nd October – Parents evening
Got very upset at parents evening. Before we went in. It was because I’m feeling very fat at the moment and I was looking around me at all these skinny mums. And I kept thinking “what is wrong with me I can’t be slim like them”.
Was on verge of tears.
Friday 24th October – Putting kids to bed
I just finished putting the kids to bed. It was quite possibly the worst bedtime I have experienced.
The kids were all tired and getting upset over various different things and at one point I screamed at Lala. I just had to get her to listen to me as I was repeating myself over and over again. I just lost it. I got control back immediately and got her to stop crying and finally she listened and I told her that i don’t like having to repeat things over and over to get her to listen.
Saturday 25th October
Found it pretty difficult this morning dealing with the kids before swimming. Then got told off in swimming waiting area being told not to eat my croissant I’d bought at Lidls.
Been ok since I got home. Been doing some tidying since I got back. Have been writing a list as I do the jobs. It makes me feel a bit calmer. A bit more organised in my head.