I’m sitting in the gym changing room. Ben kind of persuaded me to go for a swim, sauna etc.
I’m feeling stressed. Tired. Emotional. I don’t know where I am. I can’t cope with loud noises and lots of people. It just freaks me out.
I don’t want to alienate people but I just want to shout at them all to leave me alone!!!!
I finished. I’m in the car having just had a mini Facebook-chat argument with Ben. I did 5 lengths.
It’s 22:39. I’m on the loo before I go to bed. Just jotting down how I feel quickly. I feel heavy. Ladened. Worn out. I curled up on the sofa earlier and had a good cry. Ben and Bella are being lovely. I don’t know what’s wrong. Not exactly. I think it’s all just too much for me. New job. Loving it. Or what it will be as not really had a chance to DO much yet. Just feel like it is leaving no room for anything else. I come home and feel like curling in a ball.
I think it’s the pressure. Probably the pressure I put on myself most of all.