I have a meeting with HR on Monday morning. I got the invitation this afternoon. It got me worrying and stressing. I know its probably just routine. The girl who’s job I’m covering is coming back to work and they want to talk to me about my contract. The thing is, I really love this company. I don’t want to leave. I know I have my Prince 2 qualification and I could go on and get some project management related job, but I’m happy where I am. I like the people, I like the work, I like my bosses, I love being so close to home and being able to drop Lala into nursery in the morning. I love meeting friends for lunch or just popping into the shops. I love being home 10 minutes after I leave work.
I don’t want to have to start looking for something else, go through the whole interview process, trying to convince people that they want to employ you, trying to fill yourself with as much confidence as you can before you go in, then fall apart afterwards, tying yourself in knots for a week while they decide if you are good enough. Then when I eventually find something else, trying to fit in, hope they like me, hope I do the job well enough… What if I don’t fit in, what if I don’t get on with the people or my boss?
I don’t think I’m strong enough for this yet.