Searching for something that will make me feel better
I’m on my own today. I’m not feeling good. I’m sad, lonely (even though I have the kids for company today). I want to get on and be productive and get things done but at the same time I feel incapable of effort. I know that losing weight will make me feel better about myself but in the short term I seem to be incapable (there is that word again – a recurring theme) of stopping myself from eating in order to gain some short term comfort. Today, I have had a bagel with butter. Then I had 2 or 3 slices of left over pizza from last night. then a cupcake with my pretend latte (very nice expensive instant coffee with frothy steamed milk). But I don’t feel any better after all that!
It is the same situation with my finances. I keep spending money in the hope that the things I’m buying will make me feel better, but none of its working and I am just getting myself into a bit of a financial mess and in the end, it doesn’t make me feel any better!
Deep down I know that I just need to let this…. whatever, run its course. I think I’m a little depressed – probably due to being ill with a cold for the last two weeks. But its very hard in the short term to stop myself from doing these silly things in an effort to make myself feel better!