As I mentioned in my Update post, I feel like my life is starting to come together. No longer commuting to Reading, no longer working in an environment that I found claustrophobic and smothering, no longer stressing about childcare issues… its all coming together. I hope it stays that way. I really do!
So I’d been thinking about this for a while and I decided that now is the time to bite the bullet and come off my anti-depressants. I’ve been on them (this time) since just before Lala was born. I was really struggling in the final weeks of my pregnancy and life was too hectic and uncertain or just downright crappy (ok, I know, it could have been worse) that I never felt ready to come off them. But now I feel ready.
I went to the doctor’s on Monday and talked to them about it. They have recommended that I reduce my dose (40mg citalopram) down to 30mg for 3 weeks and then down to 20mg for another 3 weeks and then I need to go back to my doctor. My first day on a lower dose was a bit dicy (not really that bad but I felt a bit weepy and less able to cope than normal) but I got through it and then the next day was better and I have to say, since then I have not felt any difference in my mood.
I even told my boss, my other boss and the HR lady who were all incredibly supportive and lovely.
This makes me think of a warning that a colleague gave me before I left my last place:
Don’t be too open. Keep some things to yourself. People can judge you.
I am so glad I didn’t take her advice. All I needed was to work somewhere better!