I was quite negative in my posts over the weekend and I just want to make sure you know its not all bad. After being in quite a low, stroppy mood on Sunday, I went for a walk around 5pm sunday afternoon and it really cleared my head. I had actually intended on having a bath. A bit of relaxation and getting away from the kids for a bit but actually when I got upstairs I knew that actually getting out of the house and into the fresh air would do me good so I just put my walking gear and trainers on and went to do the route I normally do with Daisy (my friend who I walk with 3 times a week – apart from last week when we only did 1 walk cos I wanted to get drunk on Wednesday to celebrate my exam and I couldn’t get out Friday as Ben and Bella were both out – I could have gone on Thursday to make up for it but I didn’t). I’m just going to strike out last week as a bad week and start afresh this week.
So today is Monday. The first day of my last week working here. This morning I made an effort. I put on makeup and did my hair and put on a dress and tights and boots. I look nice. I’m starting to get excited (if a little nervous) about my new job. I can’t wait to leave this place behind. I can’t wait to NOT have to do that commute every day, twice a day.
I’m also excited about the prospect of starting to sing again. I used to sing in a band. Quite a few different ones in fact, over the years. But I stopped when I was pregnant with Joshua (although I was gigging up to about 6 months pregnant). And haven’t really had the time to start again. Anyway, recently, after listening to a lot of country music – inspired by TV shows like Hart of Dixie and Nashville, I decided to put an ad in Gumtree looking for a guitarist/singer who would like to form a duo. I have had two responses already and am quite excited about it. Watch this space.
So that, included with the fact that I’ve started doing some exercise again (walking/running 3 times a week and horseriding twice most weeks) I really feel like my life is starting to resemble what it used to be. I feel like I might be on the road to being myself again. Not the same me that I was when I was younger. I have kids now. But there is no reason why I can’t do things I enjoy doing, is there? In fact, some would probably argue that your kids will be better off if you are happy – as long as in doing so you are not neglecting them – and my running is done when they are in bed, I ride one evening after work but the 2nd time is on a sunday and I take the kids to see the ponies while I ride the big horse.
Things are looking good. I don’t know why I felt so low yesterday. I feel better now. Things are looking up.