Pretending to be a SAHM

This week (and Thursday and Friday of last week) I have been pretending to be a stay at home mum. Joshua started school on Thursday (1 to 3pm thursday and friday) and 12 to 3pm this week. He has been such a good boy and I think he’s really enjoying it. And I’m enjoying being around more. Just a shame it has to end. It has made me realise that I am really not happy with the situation I am in and I want to make it change. I am going to start by first of all, asking my boss if she would agree to let me work from home either a couple of mornings or a couple of afternoons a week so that I can at least do drop-offs or pickups a couple of times a week. I think I can already imagine that she will say no, but I can’t not ask. If she says no, in fact, even if she says yes, I will get my studies finished and then start applying for other jobs. Maybe contract jobs (day rate ones – so I can take time off when I want/need to).

So. What else is going on with me? Well, other than Joshua starting school and me having holiday to be around for him…. Here is him on his first day!!!

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I’ve booked my exam and really need to crack on with my studying. Which I haven’t done at all since my last day at work on Wednesday. Its hard to get into a routine when you know that its only for a week. I have visions of how it would be if I were at home. But I know that this is only a one off. On Thursday I walked Joshua to and from school. By Friday I’d given up walking and driven him. I was hungover on Friday after a boozy afternoon with a friend of mine (whose son is a friend of Joshua’s). They played all afternoon and we got sloshed. It was really fun. Then Friday I suffered for it. Friday, I had to clean up the house and make food for Lala’s party the next day. Saturday, was the day of the party. This is her in her birthday dress.

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Sunday was a day of recovering and trying to do a bit of catching up with the housework – oh and Rugby Tots with Lala first thing.

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And today (Monday) is the first day in a whole week of being a SAHM. I have to admit I am currently sitting on the sofa, typing this. Was going to watch TV but its so easy just to let your brain shut off and not think about anything. So I thought I’d take this opportunity (Ben has taken Joshua out to the DIY shop and I have 20 minutes or so until I have to pick up Lala) to try to write a few things down.

Right now, my head feels like its a bit all over the place. There are too many things that I want to focus on but I can only give so much and in order to give proper focus to the things that I NEED to do, some things have to give. Like this blog for instance. I’d love to write more posts. More informative posts. More interesting posts. I’d love to plug getting some advertising deals or sorting out doing reviews and stuff, but I just don’t have the capacity to do it. Even WITH time off. In fact, in some ways its worse when I’m off work as its actually harder to find some quiet time to just sit down and focus. At least at work (when I’m not busy) I can find half an hour or so (lunchtime usually) to either write in my blog or do some research or something. See, some perks to working. So I love my blog and I do want to give it my all but I think right now, it will have to take a bit of a back seat. The other thing I don’t feel I have been able to focus on enough lately is pBloggers. The parent blogger network that I started up from a twitter hashtag party. Again, I have dreams of making this into a really successful network but right now, it needs me to give much more time than I have been able to give recently. I do have some lovely bloggers helping me and maybe its time to start calling in a few favours and guest posts. Sigh. I want to be able to sod everything else (win the lottery or something) and be able to focus on writing, blogging etc. But that isn’t going to happen I don’t think so in the meantime I’ll have to make do. The things that I really NEED to focus on right now are 1) my studies, 2) my family (I need number 1 so that I can get to a point where hopefully I can give number 2 much more of my time). 3) my health – I’ve given up Weight Watchers for a while and am trying My Fitness Pal with a FitBit Flex – more on that in another post when I have the time. That’s pretty much it. It doesn’t sound a lot but I honestly feel overwhelmed. At least Lala’s party is out of the way. Having said that, now that’s over, I have to start planning Joshua’s Angry Birds party! Yikes!!! He wants a black Angry Birds cake. And angry birds decorations and everything. Help!!!

Right, I have 15 minutes until I have to go get Lala so I am after all going to stick the TV on and let my mind zone out for a bit. I feel I’ve deserved it.

2 Thoughts on “Pretending to be a SAHM

  1. lollinski on September 10, 2013 at 10:25 said:

    Good luck! I gave up full time teaching a year ago & now do supply which means I can choose a bit – I don’t miss assembly, I get to do the school run. It works for us.
    I hope you get something sorted x
    Colette (www.goingonanadventure.co.uk)

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