I started writing a post a couple of months ago that I never finished. It was called “Making a better me”. I think you can guess why I never finished it. Because I’m still stuck with the same old me as before. I go through phases. Usually when I’m bored at work or bored in traffic of planning how I’m going to be better – get more exercise, eat more healthily (track my points), focus on my studies more, write in my blog more, be better organised, be on top of the housework more. But you know what? It never happens. I’m not suggesting that I should give up and just slob around and never achieve anything, but I push myself so hard, I’m my own worst energy. And tonight, I am so beyond tired. I had written myself a list of things I was going to do each day. Including 10 minutes facial care – cleansing, toning, all that mallarcky. I didn’t do it, but I did shove some moisturiser on, so that’s better than nothing, right? And I was also going to study for an hour. I did about 20 minutes reading instead, but I will definitely do more tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take the book and do some at lunchtime. Its super quiet at work anyway and I’ve been so bored. I have completely failed with the diet today – I had a cupcake with Lala after picking her up from work then had several slices of cheese and then had pasta with pesto (quite a big bowl) for dinner and I feel fat as ever. I haven’t done any housework this evening – I said I was going to put clothes away or at least fold them, but I can barely keep my eyes open. The last few weeks have been exhausting and I guess I need a few days normality to recover before I can think about starting to “be more”… whatever. So now, having done just enough to make myself not feeling like a total failure, I am going to turn the light off and go to sleep.
Tonight, good enough is good enough.
Good night. x