Career confusion / Head in the Clouds

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I’m a bit bored again at work. I have plenty to be done (well, a bit, not exactly plenty) but I am waiting on stuff before I can get on with it. I find that very irritating.

Its left me with too much time on my hands to think about things.

I’m thinking about life, my “career” and what I want to do.

Life

Life at the moment, in a nutshell, is me working full time, husband working from home (apart from when away), kids in full time childcare (which includes family).

Life as I imagine or dream it would be: slower paced, less stressed, involving lots of pottering.

Career

I have never been very “into” having a career. I came out of university (after doing a degree in Spanish & Economics) and fell into a sequence of jobs that eventually lead to a 10 year long career as a PA (personal assistant, executive assistant, slave, lacky, whatever you want to call it). I’m very good at organising things and I am pretty damn hot on IT – spreadsheets and stuff like that. I’m currently working as a Project Management Administrator in Reading and, as you can tell from this and previous posts, I’m not particularly busy.

I have decided that I want to persue a career as project manager. I have previously expressed my doubts about this plan here. Its not that I don’t think I can do it. I know that I have the skills. I’m just wondering if really, deep down, I want to. See my reasons below:

What I want to do

I’m going to start by talking from my heart and not considering the issue of needing to earn a living. What do I love doing? Writing. Being creative. Making and selling things. I have wanted to run my own business for years and I have flitted from idea to idea. Going from hot to cold (when I realise that really its not going to be practical to actually do it as a main job/business). These are the ideas I have had/things I have done:

  • Card-making – I got quite popular with this little business idea. I even sold to some gift shops. 
  • Bath bomb making – I did this for a couple of years around the times that I had my kids and was on maternity leave. I loved the idea/feeling of getting praise for making something pretty (similar theme to the card-making in that respect). I have in fact started doing this again – only really as a way of earning a bit of extra money – I have no illusions about starting my own bathbomb factory with lots of little bathbomb-making minions.
  • Organising – this started by me taking pictures and putting them on facebook of little things that I would organise. Someone then said I should start a blog. Which I did. You can see it here if you like: Organising the Chaos. I’m no longer writing it as when I started working full time I found it, unsurprisingly, hard to find the time to organise, let alone blog about it. However, before this idea fell on its feet, I got pretty serious about it. I organised someone’s play room for them – as a kind of portfolio piece, I designed and made an organising box for someone, I researched becoming a professional organiser. I even paid for someone to create the header for my blog and would have gone on and had her make me a website too if I hadn’t just run out of steam. 
  • Party Planning – this idea I had around Christmas. Again I got all worked up about this idea. Did a load of research but then, the same as all my ideas and plans, as soon as I realised that I wasn’t going to be able to drop everything and throw my all into the idea, I lost interest. 

So what should I do? I don’t know. Am I being unrealistic? My urge to be creative and be my own boss… is it, well, stupid? Maybe I should just give up on my dreams and ideas and “embrace” (if its possible to embrase something so dull) a normal working life where I actually PLAN to do something with this career of mine that I never really wanted anyway.

I feel a little deflated just thinking about that.

8 Thoughts on “Career confusion / Head in the Clouds

  1. I want to say follow your dreams and creative talents (bathbomb minions…ha ha) because for someone so organised, I’d imagine it would be no problem organising yourself to achieve a dream. Me on the other hand, I float in and out of my ‘career’ dreams and usually just get scared by a fear of no money! Sorry, I’m waffling and no help whatsoever!!!

  2. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS – I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. However hard it will be to put into practice, you’ll always feel regret if you dont.

  3. Absolutely agree with the above posters – follow your dreams. Life is just too short. I know it’s easier said than done but fingers crossed you are able to sometime soon. Keep writing as I love reading x

  4. Ps, I’m Pressies by Pebbles but I wasn’t able to log in as that!

  5. Pingback: Mum in a Hurry | Mental Health Monday post – Monday 29th July #mhmonday #pbloggers

Please comment so I know I'm not alone out here!

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