I just couldn’t do it. I think if I for whatever reason became a single mum, I would have to find a bloke, any bloke (well, not ANY bloke obviously as would have to put my kids first), so that I wasn’t on my own. Its not that I mind being on my own but its just endless. Putting to bed, brushing teeth (which I forgot to do tonight incidentally), making go to toilet, changing nappies, making sure all required toys are in bed with said children, loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, feeding the animals, locking the chickens up, going to bed at 9pm cos you’re too tired to do anything else, getting woken up at 6am (feeling like you only just shut your eyes), getting kids ready to go, getting self ready for work, driving to work, working, driving back, putting kids to bed, going to bed at 9pm….. AND REPEAT SEVERAL THOUSAND TIMES.
I couldn’t do it. I really couldn’t. RESPECT BIG TIME TO SINGLE PARENTS.
I feel like I shouldn’t moan. I can hear people saying “This is just life with kids” and I know I should accept that. I told my mum I was tired when I saw her yesterday and she said “but you’re only a part time mum”. I think she realised as soon as she’d said it that it wasn’t really the right thing to say.
Yes, I do only look after them evenings and weekends but right now, I’m on my own. There’s no respite from even ONE putting back to bed of 4 year old or getting up in middle of night to comfort 2 year old or taking in turns to have a lie in at the weekends. This doesn’t come naturally to me. I love them. I have fun with them. I play with them and enjoy them. But I get tired and I get fed up. I feel like I’m fast nearing the end of my tether. I’m thinking about having a bath but I’m not sure I have the energy. By the time I get upstairs and run it, it will be 9pm and then I’ll probably spend an hour in there and then it will be 10pm and that’s too late for me right now.
I may be a moaner but this isn’t living. Being so tired that you go to bed at 9 to 9.30 every night.
That’s it. I have no more to say. Good night.