You know how you often get a musical or very very silly episode in many American TV shows (usually in about series 7 – thinking of Buffy, House, Angel, that kind of thing). Well, I’m yet again not amazingly busy and daydreaming about this house that we may or may not buy (depends on if we can sell our house in time). But because dreams are no fun unless you can change around or even completely rewrite the other realities of your life, I’ve actually imagined a whole different life. I will try to describe it here:
We’ve moved and are now living in this gorgeous house which we are hoping to buy. Its very rough around the edges cosmetically but the layout is amazing. It has three levels. On the ground floor it has a hallway, kitchen & breakfast room, living room, dining room, family room, playroom, toilet, utility room, study & 3rd bedroom with ensuite (like a granny flat). On the 2nd floor it has the main bedroom with ensuite, what would be the kids bathroom, two bedrooms (for the kids) or one for them, and a spare. Then it has a 3rd level. Like a loft conversion but it does also have a loft (storage space). the third level has two bedrooms (or really just rooms). Our plan would be to eventually turn that into a master bedroom with ensuite and walk in wardrobe. It also has a front garden which is quite big and a smaller but very nice back garden. Basically, one garden for grownups and kids (or maybe just grownups) and the front garden (which has fences and gate) for the dogs, chickens and vegetables. And maybe the kids and all their kids toys. Although I might be happier having them play in the back garden (watched too many TV shows where kids were snatched while playing in front garden).
So, in my dream world, I’m not working full time. I’m certainly not commuting every bloody day for at least an hour each way. I think I’m either allowed to work from home all the time. And I have a nice office all of my own where I can focus to my hearts content. Or I’m running my own business doing something creative or enjoyable. Maybe I have the kids around more than I would if I were working full time. but somehow money is so much of an issue (probably cos I’m hugely successful in whatever it is I’m doing). The house is lived in but still tidy and organised. Maybe we have a cleaner (but one that doesn’t put things in the wrong places and clean things you don’t want cleaned or not clean things you do want cleaned – and one that comes when I’m out as I always find it very embarrassing having to be in when someone is cleaning my house for me).
I have lots of energy in this dreamworld. When the kids are home we bake cakes and do fun creative stuff. And they run around playing hide and seek and playing hopscotch together in the garden. And my son will teach his little sister games he learns in school (he’s in school by now – must have skipped forward a year or two). The house will still be mid decoration but we are loving doing it up – I can see us in overalls with music on enjoying painting together (I HATE painting!!!). Its Christmas and all the decos will be up by end of November and we’ll go choose a tree together instead of lazily getting the plastic one out of the loft (in fact we ARE going to do that this year as I spoke to the hubby and said I’d like to start it as a tradition).
Anyway, what was the point of this little dream. I don’t know. I guess it was that in it I didn’t have shoulder and neck ache from being stuck in traffic for 2 hours in the morning. I didn’t have to race across town to drop my kids off and watch my son say bye bye and my daughter run off with the childminder with not even a backward glance at me (you can’t win, can you – if they cry you feel awful, if they run off without looking back you feel like you are no longer important to them). I guess my dream world is a slightly slower pace. A bit like the Good life, but with iPhones and iPads and iMacs (hopefully one day a MacBook too – yes I am a little Apple mad). I guess its a little unrealistic too as I seem to end up getting stressed, tired and depressed occassionally no matter where or how often I’m working (or even IF I’m working), where I’m living (although having lived in the same place for probably 8 or 9 years a change must be as good as a rest) and whether or not I have kids…. Maybe one day I’ll learn to cope.